A coupla days back, I saw something strange in the news. It seemed like something out of a joke paper or tabloid, but it was very real. On the Trans Canada Highway near Kirkland Lake in Northern Ontario, a Brinks truck crashed, spilling million$ of dollars in coinage all over the area. The shitty part was that the driver and passenger of the money truck were rushed to hospital in critical condition. It seems the truck lost control and swerved over the line and hit a rock face. Up in those parts, it's pretty much roads carved into the heart of the Canadian Shield and things can be treacherous any time of year. There are many sharp bends, falling rock hazards, etc. After a blast of warm summer-like weather, Ontario has gone into some wintry slippery clime and this has probably not helped avert this crash shituation one bit. Three other vehicles piled up and crashed into the scene of the disaster, including a candy truck, which consequently sprayed candy all over the area to compliment all the coins on the road.
So that's the 'good news' part of it, the whole area peppered with LOOT. I shoulda been there with a loot bag and then disappeared before any medics or cops arrived. Actually, shitty thing, I'd prolly really go to hell if I didn't tend to the emergency the best I could and help the crash victims out 'stead of greedily filling up a loot bag and vanishing over the railing into the Canadian wilderness. Ok, so what I'd do if I could go back in time-- have like a midget accomplice or some form of henchie to gather the loot while I was helping the injured out. There we go, win/win. Oh, and I hope those drivers are OK now.
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| I'm guessing the candy truck probably looked like this.... |
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| Using #$%*ing magnets to pick up the beautiful mess.. (Magneto could do it in half the time at least.) |
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| Hey pig, mind steppin' aside so's I can get at some of that LOOT? (just kidding) |
