Wednesday, July 27, 2011

King of the Ghost Shit



Simple, rough math, the average American uses about 50 lbs of toilet paper in a year. One standard tree produces about 100 lbs of toilet paper. So, half a tree is lost just to wipe one's ass. It doesn't sound that bad actually. Yet multiply it by the millions and that's a lot of forest lost. We have to factor in all the non Americans too who use tp. Their usage is markedly less, though it still counts for something.



Now for the Ghost Shit. Have you ever been one to be repulsed, strongly so, by your own shit? Sure, everyone takes a crap. But how many enjoy it? I have a friend who thinks of it much as a pleasurable hobby. But there are people who get disgusted by the wastes of their own body. They wish they never had to take a dump. There is a partway solution. Have you ever gone to wipe and had absolutely no trace of shit show up on the tp? This is the Ghost Shit. The trick is to master the art of the Ghost Shit, so that you can get it every time. Then, if you happen to be one of those people repulsed by your own shit, at least the squares are clean (though some people have a definition of Ghost Shit that goes further and means the turd sinks into the toilet so fast and far you cannot see any traces of it-this is the ultimate level in Ghost Shit mastery, and you are 'clean' on all levels). Think of how many trees would be saved by the Ghost Shit! Some parts of the world use bare hands (yech) water basins, leaves, all sortsa alternatives to tp. But the best is to use nothing - master the Ghost Shit. It may even save the world...

                                                                                   NOT A PROBLEM TO THE GHOST SHIT MASTER!
                                                                                              Undaunted.....undefeated...