Well, first of all, this blog is supposed to be very pro 'eye' and anti 'I'. Meaning I am to display random wonders of the world and life at large over talking about all the dumb stuff I did during the day and what sort of toilet paper I use. It's impossible for someone to not have SOME aspect of their personality bleed into their work. I still think the anti-boring and anti-narcissistic balance will have been maintained if I occasionally talk a bit more personally. So I'm going to relate to you some really really cool shit I have, which brings me to the second point: I'm not really that materialist. However, I can and do dig some neat things that happen to be solid and in my care at least one point in time. Just don't expect me to die in the fire trying to save all my shit, no matter HOW cool it is:
- Atlantic Lobster :
- Whale's Tooth
Continuing with the maritime theme, my granpa got some bigass whale tooth (feels like a rock) from a Norwegian fisherman, I think when he was in the Navy ages ago. It got passed on to my pops and it's kinda mine at the same time.
- 1938 Canadian Nickel
I like collecting foreign money or money that is super old. This is the oldest coin I have, which is 74 years old! This was just before World War II ! Kinda neat when you think about it, how many hands it probably passed through. It's like a museum piece in the pocket. If it were of a special printing and condition, it'd be worth about $15, 000 ! I'm guessing this particular one I have is only worth a couple of dollars though..
- Merkaba
This is a little crystal or quartz thingy I received because the 'Universe willed it so' at some Native American stand at a festival. See, they were selling traditional crafts and all this New Age shit. I found the merkaba in a bin full of rough quartz stones. I asked if it was the same price. The owners said it was not, it was usually like $15 instead of a few bucks, but it found its way into there because it was destined for me, or so they said, and they charged the cheapo price. Now seriously, what the hell is a merkaba? It has roots in Jewish mysticism and sacred geometry. It's supposed to be this special shape that is very balancing and healing and connects us with higher realms. We are supposed to have a type of aura shaped like a merkaba. Etymology wise, mer=light ka=spirit ba=soul.
- Easy Rider Jacket
My dear friend April gave me an awesome fringy motorcycle jacket like the one Dennis Hopper used in Easy Rider. Mine was likely made by true tribal craftsfolk, the 'buttons' were actually pointy nubs made of antelope horn (my guess) that hook through small loops. This thing kinda reminds me of a bird, and my spirit totem is supposed to be a hawk so it makes sense. It's the 'freedom' jacket!
- Novelty Tins
This may seem kinda dumb or unremarkable compared to the other stuff, but I have these candy tins shaped like giant M&M's or Pac Man ghosts. They make good containers for things like guitar picks....which brings me to..
- Guitar Shorty Pick
- Giant Fake Diamond
I think this is just made of glass. But I can pretend it's legit and be all silly about it, like the diamond is a bigger deal than the Koh-I-Noor diamond. It'd also be funny to give to any gold diggers I meet. Or if I really get bored I'll smash it with a sledgehammer.
- Chinese Hell Books/ Hell Money
Yumm. My first encounter with a Chinese 'hell book' was in a Chinese supermarket. Where they had little wire cagey stands with free newspapers there were a buncha free little yellow books called 'Journeys to the Underworld'. I was like "cool!" and took one. It was basically rooted in the Chinese folkloric belief in Diyu, or their version of Hell, and was like a Chinese version of 'Dante's Inferno,' but updated for some modern sins such as a special place in Hell for drunk drivers, ie. Much later I got a bigger hell book, still free, but this time with full color illustrations (boy!) You can see one of the actual pics above. Now..for hell money. It's this money you can buy in pretty much any Chinatown, a whole stack for roughly a dollar. It's usually laced with certain chemicals so that when you burn it, the flame is green and all spooky and ethereal. The idea is that when you burn it, it's like offerings or 'bail money' for your uncle Tommy in Hell. Hey, at least with the mythological Chinese Hell you can actually get people out or have them do their time in a finite way, not stay there for ETERNITY.
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| 800 million Hell Dollars, yeehah. Still, it'll take only 8000000000000000000000000 dollars to atone for uncle Tommy's horrible porn addiction and 'other' sins |
- Green Man Painting
It started as my old girlfriend's dream: there was crazy killer weather and the Gods were upset. She learned that in order to appease them, she had to paint a picture of the Green Man and then smash the painting. The Green Man is a folkloric figure going back to the ancient druids, he can symbolize both benevolent and hostile aspects of nature. When she woke up, she found a picture online that looked exactly like the painting in the dream, and painted a REAL painting, and gave it to me as a gift. I asked if I should smash it, like in the dream, but she said not yet, I guess the Gods aren't pissed enough. Besides, it's a great work of art. As a bonus, it doubles as a drum. It's canvas stretched over a frame, so you can thump on it and get this ominous low boom going on. The eyes of the Green Man vibrate and hypnotize you if you stare into them.
- Rock(s) Of Power
- Les Medallions, Top Brass etc.
The reddish one I like to nickname the 'Dracula Medallion'. I just randomly found it lying on the ground outside. I also have these buttons off of dead colonial soldier's coats, a museum was selling them off ridiculously cheap to raise some funds.
- Old Books / Crystal Skull
The Crystal Skull is actually just a glass tribute to the REAL crystal archaeological skulls found mysteriously throughout time in random places around the world. About 13 have been found, and there are no signs that hand tools were involved in making them. So this thing is actually just a cool gimmicky bottle for 'Crystal Head' brand vodka, which is triple distilled through special diamonds and made using super pure spring water yadda yadda. It's basically high quality vodka in a real cool drinking vessel. Now the books I've decided to include with the skull because they are in the same shot. Basically, I have a lot of a cool books, many which are old, REALLY old. This shelf is kind of my preservation ledge for them.
- Funky Glasses
Ok, so maybe this one is not THAT remarkable, because I'm pretty sure almost everyone has a funky/silly glasses collection. But I dunno it's fun.
- Hunting Targets and Things
- Ninja Swords
Aright, maybe these aren't 'real' 'ninja' 'swords', (ha), but they are pretty legit bokken, which are Japanese wooden swords used for practice- or even kicking someone's ass for real. I'll prolly use them to bludgeon zombies.
- Neck trappings (Pendants) of Power
Here are two of my most 'power worthy' necklaces. The first is the 'Eternal Serpent/Silver Dragon' one. The jade intertwining Celtic style double serpents showed up out of nowhere where my old girlfriend was living and no one had any clue as to the source. I had found in some back alleys something among the rubbish that was put out. It was a small chest of trinkets and things. Most of it was unremarkable, but the dragon pendant of real silver was a good keepsake. Both were made into one necklace by my old gf, and she gave it to me as a gift. According to the 'Native horoscope', my sign is the serpent. I'm a bit skeptical about astrology but in the least there's some fun or truth in it. At first I was like "aw, snakes suck!" But they said the serpent sign was the most attuned to the ethereal realms and most shamanic or healer like, and I can actually relate to that.
The bone necklace is a joke, I ate a bunch of shortribs at a restaurant buffet and saved the cool looking bones. I boiled the grease out of them and cleaned them and gutted the marrow and made them into a necklace. For an added touch, I lightly burned some stripes into it. I like it because people think it's so special or neat and maybe think it's like hyena bones or something and then I tell them it's just leftovers from an all you can eat, haha!
- Cap'n Ahab Spyglass
- Book From Inside Wall
Perhaps I could bunch this in with 'old books' mentioned a bit earlier in this piece. My pal Al was doing reno work in an old house, and found this journal style book in the wall, all cobweb laden and everything. The thing has to be as old as the 30's, it seems. I can use it for a lyric book or something.
- Other stuff: I have other cool shizz, like a 100+ year old piano, a weird studded guitar from the 60's, and so forth. What I have mentioned mostly in this article has stood out the greatest. If I reckon on enough more cool stuff maybe there will be a part II of this article forthcoming.
